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Wallace Announces Plans to Procreate

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Wallace Announces Plans to Procreate

by Jim
October 7, 2024
in News
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In a whirlwind of emotions and announcements over the past few days, an increasingly desperate Floyd Wallace has been live streaming near constantly as he attempts to raise $78.00 he says he needs to pay for “the second half of his Airbnb payment.”

It’s unclear if he means for a second Airbnb to use as a decoy for his next trip to Colombia, which is currently scheduled for October 25, or if it’s the second half of a payment due for the Airbnb that he said he was paying for on one of his many livestreams over the weekend.

Wallace has increasingly turned to constant live streaming as a source of solace over the past week. At one point during a stream, pulling out a suicide prevention hotline card and telling his fans that he had dark thoughts, but it was okay because the hotline is there for when he needs to talk as he has no real friends.

The YouTuber explained that he has permanent mental illness and at one point was getting disability from the United States Federal government of $1,000.00 a month to help with living expenses. That payment ended as he made too much money from his YouTube channels, and he claimed that he has been unsuccessfully fighting to get the payment back now that his YouTube fame has diminished.

Wallace, on the same stream, showed off his bedroom in his current apartment. He said that he had destroyed his bedframe by falling on it and that he didn’t own sheets or a blanket because “he was poor.” He told his audience that he slept in his clothes, and that he was never cold.

It is of note that Wallace has been wearing the same green shirt and jeans since Friday, despite three days passing. He also revealed that he was increasingly dependent on wearing his prescription glasses as his “eye vision was going away.”

Turning to the near future, Wallace revealed that he wanted to have children in the near future and that the children would live in whatever third world country he was living in at the moment. In the past, Wallace marveled about how easy it was to escape responsibility for children born outside of the United States as there were no real child support laws that he was aware of that would apply to Americans.

It is unclear if Wallace, who is currently planning on leaving the United States for a year-long extended sex tour of Colombia and Brazil, was serious about the possibility of abandoning an offspring. However, Wallace had become increasingly reflective of his sexual conquests, claiming to bed over 100 women, and how none of them have become pregnant with his child.

Turning to his plans for Colombia, he assured his followers that despite hiring the woman known as “The Studd” to be his personal driver during his time in the country, she will not be on camera other than in passing. She made the request not to be featured, following backlash from Wallace’s followers, who wanted to see him bed someone “hotter.”

There has also been some clarification as to his status for his charges in Oklahoma. Wallace is now set for Plea and Sentencing on Tuesday, November 12, 2024, in Normon, Oklahoma, on a single charge of obstructing an officer.

Wallace is currently scheduled to take a “blind plea” at the hearing. A blind plea is like a no-contest, where Wallace will admit his guilt and then essentially beg the judge to go easy on him based on mitigating circumstances. This typically happens when an official plea deal can’t be reached with the prosecutor, and both sides allow the judge to determine what punishment Wallace will receive.

The current charge carries a maximum of one year in jail and a $500.00 fine under Oklahoma law.

Adding a twist to this comes Wallace’s latest claims that he will be firing his attorney specifically to delay the hearing, openly stating that he’d rather have a January court date as not to interrupt his sex tour of Colombia.

He then would be able to go to Brazil (which he claims he is eligible to return to in January), for his planned nine-month sex tour once he served whatever time (if any) he received from the sentencing from the current case.

Wallace has already live streamed again since we’ve gone to press, we’ll have coverage of that stream in tomorrow’s edition of Auditing Insanity.

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Jim

Jim

Jim Finch is a cranky old bastard.

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