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Regan Benson Announces “Retirement” from Outreach

Indictments Skyrocket Lane Myers' Fundraising Take

Auditing Insanity Newscast March 15-18, 2025

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Regan Benson Announces “Retirement” from Outreach

by Jim
March 18, 2025
in News
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In an announcement that stunned most of her supporters, Regan Benson stated that she was effectively retiring from homeless outreach and was cutting ties with most of her associates in the Denver area.

Benson made the announcement after addressing the Englewood, Colorado, city council Monday night and effectively passing the torch of monitoring the city council to YouTuber Luis “Real Constitutional Upholders” Johnson.

Johnson was introduced to Benson’s fans at the beginning of her livestream as the next new thing in auditing. He went on to deliver a 90 second speech to the city council, questioning why he faced retaliatory charges from the Englewood Police Department for his expression of his right to open carry.

The YouTuber stated that he has had his complaints about his treatment ignored, which caused him to start his YouTube channel. He also claimed that the backlash from his accusations led Englewood police sergeant Ed Disner, who heads the professional standards division, to threaten to sue him over the backlash from his videos.

In closing, Johnson asked the city council if they were going to step up and defend his freedom.

Benson was up next, and she immediately quashed Johnson’s hopeful pleading to the city council. She said, “no one cares” and nothing would ever change in Englewood. She claimed that the police force, city council and police chief were all “jokes” and warned the public that they should always record police because the police lie, and the police also lie on behalf of corrupt members of the city council.

After greeting city council person Joe Anderson and waving to the police chief, Benson retold her story of filming four Englewood police vehicles in the parking lot of a fitness center waiting for a truck from an energy drink company to arrive.

Benson claimed the officers greeted the female driver warmly and filled the back of their cars with boxes of apparently free product. They then justified their presence in the parking lot, according to Benson, by harassing “some kids” with expired plates on their van for twenty minutes.

After leaving the city council chambers, Benson announced her effective retirement from homeless outreach. She said she was tired of getting arrested and was working on some pretty serious lawsuits that were taking up most of her time.

Benson also explained that while she appreciated her supporters, they were merely cheerleaders as no one actually wanted to help her change the community. She went on to say that nothing she did would have an impact on anything and that both Denver and the state of Colorado were bankrupt, and it may be time to leave.

She said that she broke most of her ties to the homeless community and that Robert, the homeless man she saved from a blizzard in 2024, would soon be transferred to a new long-term care facility. Benson said that would be the end of her care for him, as it was too hard to continue the friendship.

The now apparently former homeless outreach specialist said that homeless outreach was bad for her health and that the justice system is designed for “just us.” Finally, she told her supporters to spread peace and to make love and not war as they moved on without her.

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Jim

Jim

Jim Finch is a cranky old bastard.

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