It’s Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! And a new HOT SHOT JOCK has taken over the lead in the on-going GoFundMe race and Christopher “Direct D’ Ruff blaaaaaaaaazed by the competition with a massive $15.00 take and left the other competitors behind!
“I did not see him coming! That dude is super-fast and SUPER KEEN!” said reporter/racer Jim Finch, who got smoked as his own $10.00 take for his on-going expenses fund was left in the dust by the surprise superstar.
Direct D, hailing from Arizona, is a sometimes-wanted felon, who has recently stood up to the man and has no problems spillin’ tea on the other racers. His channel is growing like an octopus in heat on race day as he drops the deuces all over the race way!
His dishing of the dirt has left locals stunned with his radioactive truth bombs and his thrice hardened potato sacks have left all the girls with dreams in their eyes and a proclamation of “Groovy!”
Even the bitchin’ super stud Chille DeCastro looks like a dud in comparison to the red-hot heat coming off of Direct D’s rig, daddio! In all of our weeks of watchin’ the drop socks on the 305, we’ve never seen a competitor like him!
Direct D taking to the air to dish the dirt on fellow racer DeCastro, callin’ him a “Phony Baloney” and lapping him THREE TIMES as the final score for Saturday reads DIRECT D $15.00, DECASTRO ZILCH.
While we don’t know if Direct D can make it two wins in a row, especially when DeCastro is driving 4 sugarfied fuel-injected double V-8 powered rigs in the race each day, we’ll continue to bring you the vibes and the heeebie jeebies as we return you to the rad fat news-sheets tomorrow!
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