Proud cycling zealot, online huntsman, self-proclaimed modern Martin Luther King Jr. and John Fitzgerald Kennedy and Edward Snowden analogue Lane Myers released a statement on a recent police investigation into his actions involving Britt Wimmer, office manager for the Arizona Prosecuting Attorneys’ Advisory Council.
Myers, through spokesperson Andrea “Illuminate the Dark” Dotson, has been attacking a police report apparently filed by Wimmer after a phone conversation he had with Wimmer on one of the last livestreams he performed before he was taken to jail to face a probation violation hearing.
Staying true to form, Myers has categorized Wimmer as a “fake victim” and has started a campaign to discredit the police detectives investigating his possible crimes. Myers, through Dotson, has previously posted his version of the phone call between himself and Wimmer that supposedly vindicates him of wrongdoing.
It is noted that Dotson released a note on her YouTube community page indicating that Myers’ statement was made at the end of August and her video was allegedly uploaded on August 30, 2026. This was days before she was sentenced to stay away from known felons as part of her probation conditions.
Hello everyone from the North Korean dungeon in Tucson, Arizona. I’m about to drop a bombshell on everybody.
Detective Lopez and Detective Northrop of the Phoenix Police Department are now in charge of this bombshell of a News report. They could also be considered bombshells in the traditionally attractive sense if they weren’t if they were actually traditionally attractive. However I want Detective Lopez and Northrop to know I’m going to bombard them with questions during their deposition and under oath in front of the jury. It’s gonna be like that song, You drop the bomb on me, baby. And then and you’re gonna be and because I’m a bombastic guy, you’re gonna be bombarded with questions Which I don’t think you’ll understand. However you need to go in your little dictionary back to kindergarten and learn what jests Do you know what jest is?
Something said in jest, detectives. It’s a mockery, an utterance intended to be taken as mockery or humor. A laughing stock. Do you know what a laughing stock is? Lopez and Northrop? A thing that is re regarded as ridiculous or foolish. Do you know what hyperbole is, Detective Lopez and Northrop? It’s describe something as better or worse than it really is. It’s called an extravagant exaggeration.
So now take that As a threat. I’m going to bombard you with questions under oath, okay? Because true threats mean just that But you know what isn’t a threat? Political hyperbole, idle talk, careless remarks, crudely, offensively, or jokingly, things said in jest or other statements taken in context that do not convey a real possibility that violence will follow. True threats require subjective intent. They require more than recklessness. They must be you must be aware that others could regard their statements as threatening violence and deliver anyways.
I dropped a bomb of a quote Nobody threatened to bomb anybody. Okay? So make sure you get your facts straight because I’m going to bombard you with questions. Both in your deposition and under oath if you’re stupid enough to t try to charge me for hyperbole, for mocking the little crybaby Brit Whitmer Whitner, whatever her name is Who when I told her I’m gonna threaten you with public records requests said that’s a threat You know, so that’s like saying if your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you, hey if you cheat on me again, I’m gonna leave you. That’s a threat. A trespassing sign that says no trespassing violators will be prosecuted. That’s a threat to prosecute.
A speed limit sign that says violators will be uh ticketed, that’s a threat to prosecute Uh telling your kid that if they don’t clean their room you’re gonna take away their video games, that’s a threat to take away their video games Is that a threat though? If you tell your coworker, if you eat the last donut, I’m gonna kill you that’s not a th true threat. That’s hyperbole. If you tell your coworker, if if this person’s lady again, I’m gonna kill them. It’s called ingest. And remember I’m going to bombard you with questions, okay? Because I’m bombastic type of guy. I could be regarded as a bombardier Now when a football player throws a bomb, do they go ask to interview the announcers about their threats for the th quarterback to drop a bomb?
What about a stink bomb? What about a flea bomb? What about when they say the quarterback has a cannon for an arm? Do they go investigate him for having a cannon in his pocket? No. So the joke’s on you though, truly. And no, I’m not gonna interview with you. You can listen to YouTube and get all you need. Which is I’m going to bombard you with questions Because I’m bombastic.
I’m possibly a bombardier. Who is somebody who drops bombs Oh, you know what, uh they also say in the urban dictionary, there’s bomb ass weed. Do they go investigate people for having a bomb? No So Detective Lopez Northrop, you’re not gonna make your case. And if it was an actual if anybody thought I was making any type of threats related to actual violence, the FBI would have been here, not the Phoenix Police Department. But the FBI has a very thick file, they know. Lane Myers is full of hyperbole because he can, because it’s protected, and they know that Lay Myers doesn’t believe in violence.
So context dependent statements. Okay? True threats are context dependent. They’re not isolated So Detective Little President North Europe, I look forward to bombarding you with questions in a court of law. Because if a nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization It expects what never was and never will be. And I’m gonna make you a laughing stock. Take that as a threat. You will be a laughing stock.
You will be a thing that is regarded as ridiculous or foolish.
No charges have been filed against Myers at this time in relation to the case.
Myers’ audio statement comes as Sunday saw Myers’ GiveSendGo account end a two-week lapse in funding. The account received $200.00 in new donations to win the crowd sourcing title for the day.
SeanPaul “Long Island Audits” Reyes’s Support The Fight Against Tyranny & Corruption fund placed second with $20.00 in new donations.
No other campaigns that we follow saw donations for the day.
[Full disclosure: Mr. Myers has both threatened to sue and/or to file an injunction against ReallyCoolNews. If you’d like to contribute to our fund set up to fight possible legal action/keep the lights on/keep the cats fed, our GoFundMe is located at https://www.gofundme.com/f/reallycoolsite-ongoing-expenses.]
