The grand conspiracy apparently ended on Monday as our own GoFundMe campaign put up goose eggs to join every other campaign except SeanPaul “Long Island Audit” Reyes’ “Unlawful Arrest & Constitutional Rights” campaign, which raised $25.00, earning the victory for the day.
Reyes’ win has no context behind it, other than the usual encounters with police that he features on his channel. We’ll investigate it further, especially if it turns into a pattern or a trend.
More notable is the apparent end to the campaign that was anonymously funding our GoFundMe campaign with minimum donations to keep me chained to the desk and writing this column each morning at 3AM.
It’s 5:56AM now and I’m pondering the days of the return of goose eggs across the board, made harder by said conspiracy, but not impossible. Seven full days of goose eggs means that we can retire the column and replace it with the daily sermons of Pope Phil, or rantings by Pants, or, by god, three minutes of me blogging again! Expounding on what really is going on behind the scenes as I slowly collapse into madness!
Chaos!
Drama!
Insults!
Bad suits and loud ties!
A drama column! Featuring the “emergency broadcasts” of those who get their fee fees hurt by mean comments on the internet! They must be addressed immediately or there’s no going back! Damn the torpedoes, damn the Spitfires, roll out the rutabaga and let’s have a hoedown throwdown like the world has never seen!
Or, I just go back to bed and forget that this column ever happened.
Which would be harder since I have to read it later for the broadcast.
In any case, we shall return tomorrow with more DRAMA! More whales and more jack boot thug piggery, as these are the days of our thighs.
Goodnight everyone.
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Reyes’ win has no context behind it, other than the usual encounters with police that he features on his channel. We’ll investigate it further, especially if it turns into a pattern or a trend.
I told you before, It’s his mom giving him his allowence