Friday’s GoFundMe take was the usual win for our On-Going Expenses fund with a $35.00 take and nothing else happening in the market, making the stark disappearance of two prominent YouTubers stand out in recent days.
Starting with Christopher “Denver Metro Audits” Cordova, who has gone radio silent this week following his breakdown/performance art/being too stoned to read appearance at the Englewood City Council meeting this week.
Cordova hasn’t posted anything since Tuesday’s appearance leaving online speculation to fill in the blanks with Frauditor Troll claiming that Cordova may have been “too stoned” to continue after words fell off the page or something. We’re not speculating on that angle.
Ours is that either Cordova is going to claim to have dyslexia and couldn’t read off of a paper due to stress in front of the 30 something people watching him (he’s read numerous times in the same situation without a problem), or, simply put, he staged the whole thing for clicks and views.
He’s recently completed his transformation into a “Denver Area Sex Expert” by losing some weight, abandoning his glasses, getting his teeth fixed and dumping long-time love interest and former auditor Sweet T. It looks like he’s also either reigned back on or stopped producing his painful prank call show and is focusing on making himself look as impressive to potential partners as possible.
In this scenario his breakdown could be used to show his emotional vulnerability and willingness to overcome adversity which would let him finally get in Regan Benson’s Shuggy zones. Err. Moving on.
YouTuber Floyd Wallace is also on the missing in action list. Wallace was supposed to be in Colombia last week. He was supposed to get his passport fixed. He was supposed to leave the country and be wallet deep in pay to play by now.
Instead? No word from Wallace. No livestreams. No community posts. No poorly produced scheduled videos. His News Now Omaha channel is putting out an average of two videos a day, every day, with occasional commentary by the YouTuber. However, in really isn’t any way to tell when they were produced as the content is taken from old auditor videos and may be scheduled out months in advance.
He had promised that he’d be up to his neck in pay for play by now and he’d return to show his viewers the magic of propositioning a girl in another country for sex with has fat American wallet. If anyone can solve the mystery, please contact Pope Phil 2 immediately.
On that note, if you like to keep me from disappearing like our two sex-obsessed subjects of this wonderful family friendly column or if you’d like to continue to force me to keep writing this dreadful column each day, we do have a GoFundMe of our own (https://gofund.me/b8144e31). All proceeds go to keeping the lights on, eating, and writing new stories to feature here and on reallycoolsite.org.