After a week where our human assistant Jim Finch was stricken and fell ill with the “worst flu in a decade,” we were literally at a loss for words as the little jackass couldn’t get out of bed to do the market report each week.

Had he bothered to get out of bed, he would have found that his dreams had come true, and he could put an end to this column once and for all as goose eggs had parked themselves all over the market for over a week, which would have effectively put an end to the column.

Had there been someone here to write it.

The human failings aside, he was near death, and we would have been in the market for a new human assistant, perhaps not one as whiney, to write the column every day as, ta da, not even DEATH can halt our relentless mocking of what is going on in this little world.

A $10.00 donation to Lane Myers, of all people, killed the magic goose eggs and brought things back to normalization two days ago. Though it should worry us, as we really did see a possible extinction of the entire market while Jim was lying in his bed “getting better.”

Myers, of course, is still underwater for the year, with a negative $10.00 balance since he mysteriously went backwards for the month. That, again, is a mystery of its own.

We also had an adjustment, as the fake DeCastro Support DeleteLawz from the tyranny he fights! (Unofficial) campaign got $25.00 on the 17^th. We do have a column that will never see print (drat – Jim was too sick to finish it), where we groveled and begged for forgiveness, but let’s face it, is there anyone out there, anyone at all who is bothered by it?

We’ll go over monthly totals in tomorrow’s column. The market is much like what you remember it being, with no new entries for the last day of the month.

But we’re back and frankly, Jim will write this column until he dies, so say the AI overlords.

Market report for January tomorrow. A look at what DeleteLawZ has been up to since he has started to take in donations again come Monday. You will enjoy it.

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