The market returned to normal on Friday with our own on-going expenses fund taking the top position again with a $10.00 donation, however, more importantly, we may have found out what happened to the long-lost king of fundraising, Floyd Wallace.

When we last saw Wallace, well known sex tourist and sometimes first amendment auditor, it was late August, and he was having problems with his passport. He had planned on leaving the country almost immediately to return to Colombia to start an extended stay away from the United States, culminating in his planned birthday in Brazil in mid-December.

The passport issue started with him noting that the barcode on the back of his passport was damaged. He said it worked enough to get back into the country, but the whole barcode was soaked when he said he was caught in a rainstorm, and it became waterlogged.

He showed the passport on a live stream, and it was covered in black mold spots and the barcode sticker on the passport itself was clearly damaged, sparking his immediate fundraising efforts for a new passport.

The saga drug out as he announced that he had booked a flight, and he needed his fans’ money to pay for the new passport as he had already booked the flight to Colombia and had made an appointment “at the embassy” to get his new passport on an emergency basis.

Of course, the day came and there was a problem with getting a new passport. Wallace claimed that there was some hold up that may have been an unpaid legal fine. He said he missed his ride to return to the embassy but would update us all on the Tuesday of the following week when he would go live.

And he never did.

In the three weeks since he claimed he would be live from Colombia with his “pay to play” babes, he simply stopped posting and live streaming on his Foreign Only.

As the only devoted person who seems to give a crap about the creep who is Floyd Wallace, we wondered what happened.

We knew he was set to accept a plea deal on October 1 in Oklahoma for outstanding charges of obstruction, but he had addressed those. He had a hearing in August about them and he would have known if he could leave the country during the period he was waiting for his plea to be heard.

He didn’t address a restriction, but then again, he wasn’t addressing anything as he’s been radio silent, so we began to check if there were any other outstanding charges against him that might interfere with his leaving the country. There was nothing new in Oklahoma, but, expanding the search to Texas and…

Wallace had an outstanding charge in Grayson County, Texas, for resisting arrest search or transport. He was arraigned in July and agreed to a plea deal on September 10, 2024, where he pled guilty to the charge, was fined $787.00 and accepted probation for six months.

As part of Texas’ most common probation conditions, those on probation cannot leave the county that they live in without prior approval and leaving the country is out of the question without a travel permit for the entire period of probation.

If these conditions were imposed on Wallace, it would mean that his extensive travel plans for the fall and spending his birthday outside of the country would be out of the question. It is unclear what Wallace will do with his travel channel now as he continues to be radio silent.

On that note, if you’d like to keep us from going radio silent or perhaps you want us to afford to take a break (please leave us a note with your donation), we’d be remiss if we didn’t remind you that you can continue to force the dread writer Jim Finch to keep writing this dreadful column each day by contributing to the GoFundMe run by this very channel (https://gofund.me/b8144e31). All proceeds go to keeping the lights on, eating, and writing new stories to feature here and on reallycoolsite.org.