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Floyd Wallace Dodges DNA Test for Third Month in a Row

by Jim
October 1, 2025
in News
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In what should be no surprised to anyone following the “greatness” of YouTuber Floyd Wallace, his Wednesday livestream offered much of the same as his more recent offerings, with whines about needing money to go to Brazil, how the United States is terrible for dating, and, of course, how his life would change if you only donated to that aforementioned Brazil trip.

Wallace entered his third month in Colombia much like he did the first and second: off camera, more than likely lying in bed, and pretending that his channel was about featuring the “culture” of the countries his visited and not just a funding of his continuing sexual adventures in third-world counties.

The YouTuber, of course, is notoriously avoiding a return to the United States and any mention of his alleged first-born child, a son born around the time he fled the United States. Mention of the child has been banned from his platform, since the reality of adulting and taking responsibility for another life is still something Wallace seems to run away from.

He’ll occasionally expound on how he only wants his possible future children (he’s pushing 30, constantly unemployed and broke), to live outside of the United States as he doesn’t believe in pesky things like child support or being part of the lives of his future children.

In the case of his (possible) current first born, he met and messed around with a woman last December and nine months later, he fled to Colombia as she was giving birth to the child.

He’s promised that he’d get around to giving DNA for a paternity test when he returns to the United States, and he’s allow maybe $100.00 or $200.00 in child support MAX if the woman “forced him in the courts,” but every time he comes close to returning to the United States he has a panic attack and stays in Colombia.

Wallace is currently promoting the idea of a Brazil trip, forgetting the awful previous times he’s had in the country. From an incident where he was mugged by a gang to a far worse for his ego incident where he couldn’t find love and was almost “scammed” into a helping a woman who claimed to be kidnapped, to the general lack of success with women in the country, the horrors of Brazil mount.

But Wallace was back on Wednesday, promising that if you gave his money to him, he’d have a bevy of off-camera beauties to fill his nights and your dreams of seeing the “culture” of Brazil from the inside of his Airbnb as he half naps and begs for money really could come true.

While other channels slickly produce videos about the sights and sounds of the cities they visit, which each video featuring spectacular views of a specific spot in the city to highlight, Wallace’s productions offer little to the imagination.

His “culture” videos featuring him huffing and puffing as he walks along a random sidewalk, “cold approaching” underage looking service workers and stopping to get numbers instead of looking at any attractions or famous spots.

Wallace complained on Tuesday’s stream that gaining a woman’s Instagram in Colombia meant nothing as she would have a 50/50 shot at responding to him and more often than not, women will give him an Instagram just to get rid of him.

He even advised his followers to do what he does – in broken Spanish – tell the women up front that he wants no relationships or friendships, he just wants sex from them. Then stop talking to them after a sexual encounter or a refusal. In any case, the result is the same – Wallace, alone, with the camera off, addressing his fans from bed in his Airbnb.

Wallace promised a new video drop after fans complained of a lack of “content” on his channel. No such video appeared in the days following the Wednesday livestream.

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Jim

Jim

Jim Finch is a cranky old bastard.

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