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Denver Metro Audits Reports from Live Standoff

by Jim
November 28, 2024
in News
Reading Time: 3 mins read
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Excitement again entered the life of Christopher “Denver Metro Audits” Cordova Wednesday night as he livestreamed from a side street in Englewood, Colorado, where police had blocked off access due to a man barricaded in a house.

Cordova explained that this was the second time in recent memory that he had been on the street where someone was involved in a standoff with police. He questioned why the block in particular attracted so much attention from police since it appeared to be so normal.

The YouTuber immediately went past police cars that were blocking the road and was taken aback when a police officer reminded him that the cars blocking the road was a good sign he shouldn’t be there. Cordova retorted that police tape would be a better choice and was surprised when police responded by putting up tape on the cars with the most minimal effort to block the road.

He then decided to make the long walk around the block to get to the other side of the crime scene, figuring there would be less of a police presence and more access to the crime scene.

After a long walk that left the YouTuber visibly winded, Cordova walked up to an ambulance and still couldn’t get a shot of the residence involved in the incident. It was also getting dark and Cordova feared that he didn’t bring his light with him, which reduced visibility even further as the sun went down.

YouTube user Rights Crispy verified in Cordova’s side chat with information that was already known: that there was a standoff with a barricaded subject on the street and that residents were being asked to shelter in place.

Cordova added random notes that he expects to be off of probation after a year due to good behavior as long as he avoided another arrest. He seemed to back away from previous comments that he would “self-revoke” his probation as he found that it had not interfered with his job as an independent contractor for Google (i.e. a YouTube creator).

The independent contractor for YouTube then began to complain about YouTube’s policies and that his channel was “shadow banned” due to an incident earlier this year where he uploaded a “banger” video featuring women marching at Denver’s “Go Topless Event.”

Cordova has previously been accused of filming women at the event without permission to capture their nudity rather than the protest. His “banger” video was removed by YouTube for violating their rules on nudity.

YouTube issued a content strike against his main channel for the incident and Cordova stated that if YouTube does not end the “shadow ban” when the content strike is lifted, he will abandon his main channel and will move all his work to this backup channel, Denver Metro Audits 2.0.

Cordova continued to complain about the “shadow ban” and his inability to make money on his YouTube channel. A trained electrician, Cordova ruled out returning to the profitable profession or working any other job other than being an “independent contractor for Google.”

Eventually Cordova made his way back to the original side of the blocked off street, talking briefly with residents before declaring he was cold and hungry and leaving the scene. He invited his fans to meet him at “Way Back Burgers” in Englewood for dinner.

It is unclear if anyone took him up on his offer as of press time.

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Jim

Jim

Jim Finch is a cranky old bastard.

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