Christopher “Denver Metro Audits” Cordova’s recent launch of his new personal “Christopher Cordova” YouTube channel saw low numbers on Christmas as the aging first amendment auditor appeared alone and stoned for his holiday address to his fans.
The late-night livestream featured Cordova cosplaying a background extra from a 1980’s RUN D.M.C. video, wearing a white Kangel fuzzy hat and white Nike tracksuit. More incoherent than normal, Cordova’s mood may have been influenced by a vape he took hits from throughout the livestream.
Cordova’s new channel echoes a trend with other first amendment auditors (DIRECT D) who have made “personal channels” (CHRISTOPHER RUFF), that show the auditors spending time talking about their real lives in their makeshift studios while routinely getting high.
The secondary channels, when monetized, provide their viewers with more personal stories that the YouTubers can then monetize as part of their growing empires. Cordova’s personal channel currently has 201 subscribers and has yet to achieve level one monetization on YouTube.
With 42 views in the 11 hours since going live, the live stream featured Cordova wishing his fans a merry holiday season. The YouTuber started the show by taking a hit off of his vape and then staring blankly for over 90 seconds before addressing his fans.
Instead of a holiday address or good tidings, Cordova complained about one of his new cameras, saying he’ll need to take it back on Thursday as it was “broken” and “too dark” for his setup.
Cordova then went into a bizarre rant about giving and Christmas being the time of giving. He explained that it was just him, his mother and stepdad this year, but he didn’t feel like giving and called off the gift exchange program with his family. He also called off the traditional celebrations as it was just the three family members.
The YouTuber complained about a facility called “Comfort Dental” that provided discount dental services to those who didn’t have insurance. He claimed that while he never had cavities in his life, the facility found cavities and charged him for unnecessary procedures. He claimed to have it confirmed by an independent dentist, who said that he didn’t have any cavities.
Cordova eventually stated that the kindest people on Earth are ex-convicts and covered in tattoos, and that one of his relatives, a fellow “black sheep” of the family, loved and supported his channel. He called out the rest of his family for not supporting his work and his anti-police views.
Offering his opinion of sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church, he offered a solution of letting priests getting married. He then called out the Roman Catholic Church as “satanic,” claiming that the church uses the fear of hell as a mind control technique.
Cordova went on to express his personal belief that hell is not real, and that reincarnation is what souls experience when they die. He said that he was “done” with Earth and would not be returning when he dies.
With long pauses as he stared blankly at this computer screen, Cordova ended the livestream after his audience dwindled to his ex-girlfriend, Teresa “Sweet T” Neal, who he announced will be taking over editing duties for his video channels.
