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DeCastro “Reports” from L.A. Accident Scene

by Jim
September 8, 2024
in News
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It was business as usual Saturday night for Jose “Chille” DeCastro as he took to the mean streets of Los Angeles, cruising Wilshire Boulevard when he live streamed from an accident scene involving two unidentified expensive cars.

DeCastro wondered aloud where the police were as he happily skipped through puddles of oil and other fluids dripping from the cars, blocking traffic as he was oblivious to the actual scene.

He “reported” that no drugs or alcohol were involved in the crash as he didn’t smell anything when he ran from car to car, stopping to remind his fans that he never touches alcohol, and only occasionally smokes marijuana – other than a few times at parties in Mexico with Jeff Lloyd. “You know who Jeff Lloyd is, right?”

His only real concern for the participants in the accident came when he almost accidentally ran into one, sitting on the side of the road watching as a tow truck began to clear the street.

DeCastro stopped and centered his camera on the man and asked if he needed any help before returning to running around, happily going from car to car and marveling at the destruction in front of him like a small child.

A note came in from chat that said he shouldn’t be expressing his opinions so much, “as a journalist” who was “reporting” on live events. Since journalists were supposed to be objective. DeCastro blew the thought off, as apparently his few weeks of “journalism training in college” taught him otherwise.

This was his scene. His beat. His KINGDOM and his handful of assembled followers (growing to 88,517 views as of press time – thank you YouTube’s vertical format), and he wasn’t going to let anyone spoil it, especially not the police.

When asked by his chat why he didn’t call the police to report the accident, DeCastro discouraged any reports or use of the 911 system because police did more harm than good, and he wasn’t willing to have his life ruined by making a report.

Time after time, he said, he saw how calling 911 to report a crime destroyed families, ruined lives, and did more harm than good. Besides, the tow truck driver had the situation under control, the drivers weren’t too injured, and there was no need to involve the authorities.

DeCastro wrapped up by plugging his products and promised that he would be visiting the New York City area after he wrapped up his Constitutional Law Scholar board game, which he promised will be available for purchase by Christmas.

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Jim

Jim Finch is a cranky old bastard.

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