The aging and no longer charmingly inept Floyd Wallace went live twice on Friday, falling into the same old patterns of attacking his audience, begging for money and promising that life will be better in (insert country here) where the women are looser and will put up with his shit.
Wallace announced his pending return to Colombia on Friday, after announcing for the fifth straight livestream that he was going to start featuring police content on the channel. In a speech that is now cliché, Wallace warned that he “didn’t want to” but he “had to” because people aren’t donating like they used to, and he had to use his own money to travel.
Floyd had a tight January like everyone else with his penchant to rage quit and privatize all of his live streams on full display as it is robbing his channel of content and revenue. In the past month, his privileged demands of his audience have run off most of his top donors at an astounding rate.
He has not successfully completed a fundraiser for the year. When it used to be so easy for Wallace to put on the charm and put his hand out, only to have his ever demand for money met with the promise of content.
This January, his audience has told him that his content stinks, despite his claims otherwise. They’ve made it clear that pointing his camera at the sidewalk or the sweaty bodies of passersby as he briskly walks through generic city #5 asset pack is not content.
Wallace has answered that if people want him to actually do things like go to clubs, have fancy dates with girls, or actually experience a city… they’ve got to pay up. He must have cash in hand FIRST and then they’ll get their content.
Floyd didn’t get paid last weekend to go out when he decided to livestream from a club. One of the girls he is apparently paying to have sex with, took him to a local club. The hour at the club consisted of Wallace standing around, clearly out of place as he’s quickly approaching 30, with his camera pointed at someone’s back or belly the entire time.
At one point, Floyd’s date’s cousin’s friend wanted to see Floyd’s expensive Samsung Flip Phone 4 and ended up breaking it. Floyd freaked out, stormed out of the club, swore he’d never talk to the woman again, and angerly held back tears in the cab on the way back to his hotel.
Then somewhere in the dark, after the rage and tears were gone, he smugly muttered “it don’t matter, I already smashed that chick twice.”
And that’s the current Floyd Wallace experience. Everything is fine as long as he had sex before it happened. He got bored with the first livestream on Friday as no one was donating or super chatting and rage quit his second stream.
He is expected to livestream again later today.
