DeCastro Bores Fans in First Stream of New Year

Jose “Chille” DeCastro’s first attempt to livestream in the new year went about as well as you’d expect it to, with DeCastro declaring martial law was coming with the in-coming Trump administration and a promise (slightly kind of) that he’d be there to pick up the pieces when things went wrong for America.

This time, he’s apparently staying in the country to “observe” rather than run to another country to wait out the supposed coming war. He’ll lead at another time, to be determined later.

While “America’s Top Auditor” SeanPaul “Long Island Audit” Reyes was doing really important things like paying a trespassing fine in coins, and “Sweep the Leg” Glenn Cerio prepared for another night stalking the streets of Seattle for new police officers to harass, DeCastro sat in his cozy studio screaming about Donald Trump and the coming chaos – CHAOS HE SAYS – that will be in store for the world now that the push to evict everyone here illegally will somehow mean 30,000 new law enforcement officers employed by ICE, $66 billion dollars in new detention centers and $9.00-a-gallon of milk for Americans.

He also warned that once all the illegal Americans are gone, the prison empire would turn its attention to regular Americans. With thousands of beds to fill and profit to be made, DeCastro urged his fans to do everything possible to stop the complex before America was lost.

DeCastro also warned of giving phone numbers out to police officers, as your women could then be hit on by the officers for romantic affairs. Despite the case he cited coming from an incident where the officer called the number associated with a woman’s license plate to ask her out.

Running for mayorship, DeCastro then declared could be a steppingstone to changing things. He said that the legendary Dick Hellar, fresh off his racist tirades on Twitter/X, told him that the National Mayor’s Association Meeting would allow him to influence states in fighting the government and getting rid of such things as the Terry vs. Ohio decision that is ruining the country.

Announce that when he is Governor, he’d listen to the mayors… before flashing back to the early 2000’s when he was 26 years old, and his sister talked him out of joining the Navy to become a Navy Seal. Despite being 3” too small for the unofficial 5’6” minimum height to be a Navy Seal.

Claiming he was the first to end a line of military service in his family dating back to the founding of America, he said he wouldn’t fight against someone who didn’t attack us in order to protect oil interests.

The rest of the four-and-a-half-hour broadcast was filled with more anti-police sentiment, plus an interview with one of the men who was with Good Guy Activism when he was arrested.

There were no real updates to his Constitutional Law Scholar game, other than it would be out eventually as he no longer has to keep the promise to be out by Christmas or the end of 2024.

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Chille DeCastro abandons his first amendment trademark claims! Did he give up his dreams of leading all of the auditors? Regan Benson fumes over being denied appointment to a citizen’s advisory committee! Did she really expect to be able to judge the Denver police? Fraudit Wrangler turns tail and runs away from his troubles! Stolen valor, criminal acts, but it’s not his fault, ya’ll! Plus: Long Island Audit loses a lawyer in his long time lawsuit against New York City! New York City!

It was revealed by PDocs of the Public Documents of Jose DeCastro on Tuesday that Jose “Chille” DeCastro recently suffered another embarrassing self-inflicted loss as his attempts to trademark the terms “first amendment auditor” and “1st Amendment Auditor” have both been declared dead.

Craig Hendry tops the crowd sourcing title again for Monday! Does he need the GoFundMe money now that Jose “Chille” DeCastro has taken over his fundraising efforts? Manuel Mata suffers another self-inflicted error as his bond was revoked! Are the police targeting him and his cohorts or is he just dumb enough to be in the wrong place at the right time? Plus: Blue Bacon’s attorney files to have “Chille” DeCastro removed from his own lawsuit! What the what?

In a stunning motion filed on Friday but released via the California Superior Court on Monday, attorney for Michael “Blue Bacon” Pierattini, R. Paul Katrinak, went so far as to ask Judge H. Jay Ford, III, to terminate Jose “Chille” DeCastro from his own lawsuit.

One Response

  1. But it will be out by Christmas or the end of the year. He just won’t say which Christmas or the end of what year!

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