With just one day to go until his scheduled all-day evidentiary hearing to help determine if he has violated his probation of the felony charges he took a plea deal on last year, Bicycling enthusiast and social media influencer Lane Myers released yet another “bedtime story” to Andrea “Illuminate the Dark” Dotson’s YouTube page.
For some reason, Myers abandoned his new “Lane Wick” character for the audio address, instead, taking on extended references to Communism for the statement:
Tuesday I will have my hearing in front of Kim Jong-un and his tribe, where we’ll decide if I was bad enough to get transferred to communist China or I’m allowed to go back as a free citizen of the United States. My lawyer is very confident. I’m very confident. But as with all things, when you’re going before Kim Jong-un himself, you have to take into consideration that Kim Jong-un doesn’t like people that advocate for freedom like I do. And then when you have the prosecutors from the communist regime, or Conover herself, communist Conover’s regime, you know, they like to hate on freedom. Even though Laura Conover’s been suspended from the bar, she likes to talk about ethics. She was suspended from the bar for withholding public records. How ironic that she doesn’t know what public records are. And guess who was the judge in that case? Metcalf. Metcalf ordered them to turn over records, and they didn’t, so she got suspended by the bar. So now Kim Jong-un is going to be my decider of the fate of the free man. And I was told that they added some new charges, so everybody that likes me getting new allegations can go ahead and let out a little cheer and be like, yeah, they got them. But the rest of the free people, they added a new allegation, violation, charge, whatever you want to call it, for Liberty Troll’s second video and for some spots in J-Dub’s video I did, which when you hear the allegations, at least I laugh. I mean, I’m trying to keep it funny.
It is noted that Pima County Prosecutor Laura Conover has never had her license suspended by the State Bar of Arizona. Conover took a non-disciplinary education and monitoring process in 2024 following accusations by former chief criminal deputy prosecutor David Berkman. Her license was never officially suspended.
Addressing possible new probation violations, Myers goes on to say:
When you hear these things and then you see how they write it up and how they accuse me, like in the Better Not Miss It video, where they accuse me of showing the victim’s name, a picture of the victim, excuse me, they say, oh, picture, and then it’s like an astronaut or an aboriginal rugby player. But the best part, I just want to let the people that care, the best part is that at Kim Jong-un’s tribunal on Tuesday, they’re going to play the David Goggins Taking Souls video. the little clip from Joe Rogan where he’s talking about Boat Crew 2. So I just wanted to let Boat Crew 2 know that you can’t break us. And we’re going to sit in open court while the David Goggins taking souls clip on Joe Rogan is played in open court as some kind of violation. That is at the 6th. That’s what’s at the 6-hour, 41 minutes of better not miss it. the David Goggins thing. So if you are into that, Goggins is coming to court with me. We’re going to take souls on Tuesday, Goggins style, in open court. Can’t wait. Can’t wait for David Goggins’ video to be played in open court. And Joe Rogan. I’m being violated for having Joe Rogan on my YouTube channel. That’s the peak of male supremacy, white male supremacy, I guess. Like, I’m a Trumper, allegedly, but I’m not. And then we got the peak of male masculinity, toxic male masculinity, Joe Rogan. So my future rides on if Kim Jong-un, the fearless judge, believes Joe Rogan and David Goggins is some kind of probation violation.
No changes to the prosecution’s allegations against Myers have been posted to Arizona’s eAccess portal ass of press time.
The influencer then made a pitch for his on-going GiveSendGo campaign:
We’re getting the GoFundMe or GiveSendGo. We’re editing that so it reflects my current situation, because when you go to it it talks about lawsuits but currently it’s being edited to show my current situation and right now I really need help with my bills and dog food while I’m in jail and then again start building up a fund because my life’s journey is going to be a little different when I get out once I get out I’m gonna have to start looking for my own place and stuff so we need to start getting all that ready so that I can hit the ground running I’m going to have a little time to do that. So we have some time to figure out options, and then I’m going to try to panhandle on the Internet for those because obviously this is catching me flat-footed. I wasn’t preparing for this, but it’s what you’ve got to deal with these things as they come. So I just wanted to let everybody know thank you for any help.
Myers may need all the help he can get with his GiveSendGo as his donations have been sporadic at best. He did manage to win Sunday’s crowdfunding race with a single $10.00 donation. The First Amendment Protection Agency placed second, with a single $5.00 donation for the day.
Monday saw no new donations towards Myers’ campaign. SeanPaul “Long Island Audits” Reyes won the day with $35.00 in new donations, divided up between $25.00 towards his We the People vs. Police Union Power campaign and $10.00 towards his Support The Fight Against Tyranny and Corruption campaign.
Strangely, Aidan “Turtleboy” Kearney’s Help Turtleboy defend Free Speech fund went backwards, losing $20.00 in total value for the day.
No other campaigns that we follow saw activity for either day.
Addressing his future, Myers said:
And what’s going to happen on Tuesday is I’m going to go to court, and we’re going to decide if these are violations or not. And then from there, we’ll see if Kim Jong-un doesn’t find any violations, then I’ll be walking out of jail free that day. If Kim Jong-un’s feelings are hurt, well, who knows what happens after that, but I won’t be walking out of jail that day. And we know how hard Rachel Mou, or Stalin, Rachel Stalin, who’s part of the Bolshevik regime, is going to fight for me to never see the day of light of day again, never see my dog. It’s all good, though. I will eventually prevail, as always. It just takes a little time, and that’s what I’m saying. I need a little bit of help covering my bills, so my stuff doesn’t get thrown away and my dog gets fed. Because as long as there’s money to cover my bills, my stuff is safe, and my dog will be cared for while I’m in here. But obviously nobody else is going to support me on that, so I’m going to need some help for that. I’d rather have help with that than commissary and all that. But again, I appreciate everybody’s support, and thank you.
Myers is expected to release at least one more “bedtime story” before Tuesday’s evidentiary hearing.
[Full disclosure: Mr. Myers has both threatened to sue and/or to file an injunction against ReallyCoolNews. If you’d like to contribute to our fund set up to fight possible legal action/keep the lights on/keep the cats fed, our GoFundMe is located at https://www.gofundme.com/f/reallycoolsite-ongoing-expenses.]
