GoFundMe: DeCastro wins Day

Jose “Chille” DeCastro notched up another win for Sunday in GoFundMe action as his “Justice for All Legal Battle for Accountability” fund took in $100.00, beating out our $10.00 take by a 10x multiplier for the day.

DeCastro’s win, obviously, came as someone saw our Friday post with all of the URLS listed and in it and clicked vigorously, giving DeCastro the $100.00 in a win that should totally be credited to us as we’re, technically, the only one currently promoting any of these funds.

We’ll put it as a shared win, but we’re not really keeping score, just here to outrage the few of his fans who frequent these columns, hitting with zingers like “do you want some whine with that cheese?” on days when we’re bragging about our WINS, or similar lines which never quite fit the proper insult for the proper column.

If they read said column that is.

Most recent posters seem to come to comment just to comment, rather than watch the base video. Currently the excuses are that my voice is the absolute worst, they’d rather take down the PANTS(?) and of course, they’d rather be deaf than have to listen to another article… then they comment on the next article.

We’re wondering why they come in the first place, as we offer about 4 minutes of content max per article when they can waste the rest of their day listening to DeCastro’s latest 4+ hour address to his masses. Almost 400 out of 615,000 subscribers show up ever day, 300 or so of those hang around until the end and DeCastro…

Well, he doesn’t do much anymore. He’s literally exactly where he was last year, mindlessly promising what he’ll do when he’s “governor” of a state he hasn’t picked and is only using to push trifold sales or YouTube donations.

There’s literally nothing more to him these days as he grows wider, gets older and spirals out of control into what sounds like premature dementia each night with the same lines, repeated, the same gimmicks, the same prank calls, and the same 30-60 people who actually participate in his chats.

I mean, yes, he does kick our ass ever night with attendance and participation, but he has something like 614,500 more subscribers than we do and we’ve only been doing the YouTubes on our own for three months.

Are we jealous? Sure. If we had the money that he’s pulling in each month from his YouTube views, we could probably put all the money back into promotions and campaigns and all sorts of wonderful things that would make the channel grow… but we’ll never be a former power ranger, a former top executive in NEW YORK CITY (NEW YORK CITY!) or a governor of a state to be named later.

We’ll babble, we’ll fuss, we’ll complain, and we’ll beg, but we’ll never be Chille DeCastro.

And that’s something that we’ll never bitch about.

On that note, if you’d like to invest in our future (order at Arby’s because we’re fat and hungry and a Jamoka shake will probably kills us and violate our vow) OR to force me to keep writing this column each day, we do have a GoFundMe of our own (https://gofund.me/b8144e31). All proceeds go to keeping the lights on, eating, and writing new stories to feature here and on reallycoolsite.org.

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